At the moment, as we are all egrariously aware, our nations global maxi-economy is in a state of disrepair. Tax credit ratings are falling, the international dollar percentage standard is through the roof, governments all around the world and New Zealand are struggling to stop certain industries, particularly the quaternary sector, from collapsing and suffering a most embarrassing death - all of this while natural disasters are engulfing some of the worlds swarthiest and most attractive nations. Peru for example, in the region of Machu Picchu has experienced a flood which killed over 33 dogs and a whole roost of chickens, in San Francisco there has been an outbreak of racist flus, affecting only Korean and Vietnamese residents, and in little old New Zealand there has been talk of a hot day, with temperatures expected to reach over 20 degrees Celcius and with sunlight hours predicted at more than 3.
But in light of all this, how are you? did you get all that stuff done yesterday which you were meant to? I didn't.
Here's a link to something which Ferris Cooler would like everyone to see:
ladies and gentlemen, here's where cameron goes beserk
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Going viral!
Hi there netloverrs!
So far, Womboaks has really been taking off, we had a rocky start with basically EVERONE on the planet saying that it was mental, but it's really started to pick up. Our international distributors are getting plenty of snags in the global sea of business chatty chatty and the ladies are rolling in. Right?! Ladieeeeeessss.
Anyway, as promised to all of our customers, here is a taste of things to come in the may-september financial/dance and art period!
May 10th: dance classes, my place, bring your nicest leotard, ladies only, and "especially no Eddie Warrens" (/via Zane Moser, who remembers when that happened, right!?)
May 10.6th: Who wants pizza? Your chubby asian friend does!
May44th: The Office (US) watching party (/via Rainn Wilson on Twitter)
June 1st-18th: we're launching the new website, Damian and Neil have been hard at work and are expecting a huge turnout, especially with the laydeezzz (roOoOooOOoO)
June 25th: hungover.
July 1st-17th: LOOK AROUND YOU! Thanks ants! Thants. Instructional science video about Ghosts. -->
Raise the roof guys, big shout out to our partner/sister/wierd aunt company www.katherineisawesome.com - have a look at the website, get the tshirt, Katherine, start producing tshirts, Maddie where did I leave that book? Rachel HI!
LAYDEEEZ!
More info as soon as the design team have the website up and running. By the way what you're reading is not a website, it is in fact a type of fruit.
So far, Womboaks has really been taking off, we had a rocky start with basically EVERONE on the planet saying that it was mental, but it's really started to pick up. Our international distributors are getting plenty of snags in the global sea of business chatty chatty and the ladies are rolling in. Right?! Ladieeeeeessss.
Anyway, as promised to all of our customers, here is a taste of things to come in the may-september financial/dance and art period!
May 10th: dance classes, my place, bring your nicest leotard, ladies only, and "especially no Eddie Warrens" (/via Zane Moser, who remembers when that happened, right!?)
May 10.6th: Who wants pizza? Your chubby asian friend does!
May44th: The Office (US) watching party (/via Rainn Wilson on Twitter)
June 1st-18th: we're launching the new website, Damian and Neil have been hard at work and are expecting a huge turnout, especially with the laydeezzz (roOoOooOOoO)
June 25th: hungover.
July 1st-17th: LOOK AROUND YOU! Thanks ants! Thants. Instructional science video about Ghosts. -->
Raise the roof guys, big shout out to our partner/sister/wierd aunt company www.katherineisawesome.com - have a look at the website, get the tshirt, Katherine, start producing tshirts, Maddie where did I leave that book? Rachel HI!
LAYDEEEZ!
More info as soon as the design team have the website up and running. By the way what you're reading is not a website, it is in fact a type of fruit.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
A Sad, Sad Day for Womboaks
It is hard to write this, as I do so the tears stream down my face and drip into my bowl of mayonnaise and scrambled egg.
I used to have one follower on my blog and now I have none.
It's just me now, out here on the internet.
Oh Edward. Where have your fans gone? Your customers? Official affiliates of Womboaks Pty Ltd?
You never thought it would come to this, such a stable business plan crumbling beneath your size ten crocs. In gold.
Where will we go from here? What will all the boats do for work? Why is it that one of my slim converse classics have ripped so heartily at the back but the other hasn't? Do I have a wonky walk? I know I have knock knees, every day I look in the mirror I remember that much.
Oh.
I used to have one follower on my blog and now I have none.
It's just me now, out here on the internet.
Oh Edward. Where have your fans gone? Your customers? Official affiliates of Womboaks Pty Ltd?
You never thought it would come to this, such a stable business plan crumbling beneath your size ten crocs. In gold.
Where will we go from here? What will all the boats do for work? Why is it that one of my slim converse classics have ripped so heartily at the back but the other hasn't? Do I have a wonky walk? I know I have knock knees, every day I look in the mirror I remember that much.
Oh.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Hey guys! Great to see you're all following along avidly! If y'all don't mind I'm just going to take a slightly more personal route on this next post, here goes nothing!
So, as the Global CEO of one of TIME's 2010's up and coming 50 international companies, I know a little bit about the world, I'm fairly well travelled and I've seen a lot of amazing places and amazing things in my time, but the reality is, no place will ever be home to me more than the beautiful town of Mangawai, just an hour north of Auckland. I was born there, I went to school there, I met my beautiful fiance Poliotherna there, and while I've travelled around, I want to retire and eventually die there.
I don't see what the issue is with wanting to be born, grow up and die in the same beautiful corner of the world?! Heck, if I'd had my way and Ma' and Pa' hadn't forced me out the door at 15, I woulda stayed there my whole life! Granted, my forced graduation from Mangawai college led me on to do great things with great people, I would never have amassed the wealth and business expertise that I did without my parents quite literally pushing me out the door, but I just wish that I could have known the joy of staying in the one spot for my whole life.
I miss you hometown. I miss you Mrs Bernhall (who is pregnant with her sixth - congrats!). I miss the cafe/plant barn. I don't miss Sally Holmeswood and she knows why - I swear to god woman you'll be paying for the antibiotics to get rid of this. And most of all, I miss all the neighbourhood cats with whom I used to play for hours, right until the sun went down over Khalalilled Hill.
I will always love you Mangawai. And one day I might learn to spell your name.
So, as the Global CEO of one of TIME's 2010's up and coming 50 international companies, I know a little bit about the world, I'm fairly well travelled and I've seen a lot of amazing places and amazing things in my time, but the reality is, no place will ever be home to me more than the beautiful town of Mangawai, just an hour north of Auckland. I was born there, I went to school there, I met my beautiful fiance Poliotherna there, and while I've travelled around, I want to retire and eventually die there.
I don't see what the issue is with wanting to be born, grow up and die in the same beautiful corner of the world?! Heck, if I'd had my way and Ma' and Pa' hadn't forced me out the door at 15, I woulda stayed there my whole life! Granted, my forced graduation from Mangawai college led me on to do great things with great people, I would never have amassed the wealth and business expertise that I did without my parents quite literally pushing me out the door, but I just wish that I could have known the joy of staying in the one spot for my whole life.
I miss you hometown. I miss you Mrs Bernhall (who is pregnant with her sixth - congrats!). I miss the cafe/plant barn. I don't miss Sally Holmeswood and she knows why - I swear to god woman you'll be paying for the antibiotics to get rid of this. And most of all, I miss all the neighbourhood cats with whom I used to play for hours, right until the sun went down over Khalalilled Hill.
I will always love you Mangawai. And one day I might learn to spell your name.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Generations Z, ZA & ZB
Here at Womboaks we're addicted to providing the best possible service that we can, and part of that addiction is a constant desire to appeal to not only those who are economically and commercially active today and tomorrow, but those who are due to become so next week and the week after. And by that of course the day and the week is used as a metaphor for a much larger time frame. We're talking whole generations here people. Generation Y are stepping into the shoes of Generation X and taking the reigns of this frightening and rambunctious global economy. However, provided the world doesn't actually end in 2012 (here's hoping, otherwise that 10 year insurance policy on my yacht would have been a waste of time, right!? RIGHT!??) we would feel irresponsible if we did not let the coming generations, Z, ZA and ZB, know that we are there for them.
In order to do this, we've developed a unique time-travel machine, which does not so much transport a human body through space and time, but reaches through a portal, like an immense, shimmering, 6-fingered hand, with the purpose of snatching pieces of pop-culture from the future. And I'll tell you what, the next 50-100 years promises to be a wild trip for those of us who are still around/whose poltergeists have not yet moved on from this mortal realm!
Did you know that Jesse McCartney's great grandson becomes the Vice-President of the United States to a man named Peliora Poolrandy? Neither did we, but we do now. Join us for this exciting ride...
Want more information? Call 027 OXI-F1KL
In order to do this, we've developed a unique time-travel machine, which does not so much transport a human body through space and time, but reaches through a portal, like an immense, shimmering, 6-fingered hand, with the purpose of snatching pieces of pop-culture from the future. And I'll tell you what, the next 50-100 years promises to be a wild trip for those of us who are still around/whose poltergeists have not yet moved on from this mortal realm!
Did you know that Jesse McCartney's great grandson becomes the Vice-President of the United States to a man named Peliora Poolrandy? Neither did we, but we do now. Join us for this exciting ride...
Want more information? Call 027 OXI-F1KL
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Advances In Technology See Commercial Success For Local Business
The following article was printed in the Weekend Herald (16/01/10):
Advances In Technology See Commercial Success For Local Business
LOCAL BUSINESS Womboaks Pty Ltd has recently struck gold with groundbreaking new research techniques. Nick-named by business mogul Donald Trump as 2010's 'Wonder-Boy' of the international scientific research world, Womboaks have seen instigated some serious alterations to classic methods of conducting business. Taking the risk of operating their business completely devoid of ALL computer technology, the homegrown, year-old company conduct all their planning, communication, and studies with pen and paper. Furthermore, CEO Edward 'aint nothin to it but to do it' Warren claims that by 2011 Womboaks will not only be carbon neutral, but will in fact be carbon negative, "It's been a hard road but we've known that it would be all along, what matters in today's shaky environment is a focus on clean green business, and rock 'em, sock 'em football. Our official affiliates and customers are behind us 100%, except for the cleaning lady, but that's because of something I said to her last thursday which we won't go into," Edward declared wildly.
Womboaks are set to take the Australian Tennis Open by storm this month, having destroyed the Scot, Andy Murray, in a grudge match last November and with profit up 130% since last quarter. More information about TIME's 24th 'Hottest New Company in the New Decade' can be found at their website www.womboaks.blogspot.com
photos/reuters and lambourne
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Womboaks: A New Decade, A New Approach!
Hi Guys!
Great to be here, I'm really excited about this new opportunity and really excited about the new decade! I'm glad you're here to share this experience with me, we're taking the first step in what promises to be an exciting and lucrative business journey.
Womboaks is a fairly simple concept, the way it works is that our ghostwriters are working with a herd of some of the most well-travelled, experienced and innovative boats around to help them focus and capture hundreds of years of unbridled boat-philosophy and science, in this case, on the topic of wombats.
People have been studying Wombats, arguably the most fascinating creature on God's beautiful Earth, for thousands of years, but the studies have reached a point where the results have become tired and lacklustre, those academics and scientists in that particular area of science and math are demanding something new. Something original. Something innovative. Something like this, an intensive series of books authored by a saddle of boats.
The industry is screaming out for this change and you'd be a fool to not take advantage of this situation, like you took advantage of your younger sister's friend that one time.
Already at this early point in the development the response has been phenomenal!
"Yeah, it's that something that I've felt has been missing from my life for so long, it's just fantastic"
- Sedgley Poolhurst, a local 'Indigo Babies' representative.
"I can't believe no one's thought of this before! it just feels SO GOOD!!!"
- Ma Kettle, the leading authority on Wombat paw development.
"It fits right in with my schedule, I haven't had to change a single thing! It really is great, I have so much to thank Womboaks for"
- Paul "Don't be afraid to say no" Ellis
Great to be here, I'm really excited about this new opportunity and really excited about the new decade! I'm glad you're here to share this experience with me, we're taking the first step in what promises to be an exciting and lucrative business journey.
Womboaks is a fairly simple concept, the way it works is that our ghostwriters are working with a herd of some of the most well-travelled, experienced and innovative boats around to help them focus and capture hundreds of years of unbridled boat-philosophy and science, in this case, on the topic of wombats.
People have been studying Wombats, arguably the most fascinating creature on God's beautiful Earth, for thousands of years, but the studies have reached a point where the results have become tired and lacklustre, those academics and scientists in that particular area of science and math are demanding something new. Something original. Something innovative. Something like this, an intensive series of books authored by a saddle of boats.
The industry is screaming out for this change and you'd be a fool to not take advantage of this situation, like you took advantage of your younger sister's friend that one time.
Already at this early point in the development the response has been phenomenal!
"Yeah, it's that something that I've felt has been missing from my life for so long, it's just fantastic"
- Sedgley Poolhurst, a local 'Indigo Babies' representative.
"I can't believe no one's thought of this before! it just feels SO GOOD!!!"
- Ma Kettle, the leading authority on Wombat paw development.
"It fits right in with my schedule, I haven't had to change a single thing! It really is great, I have so much to thank Womboaks for"
- Paul "Don't be afraid to say no" Ellis
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