Ben.

Ben, ben, is a millium cheng, he's so crazy, he's so lazy, beng!

He won't sleep,

he won't drink,

all he does is blink blink blink!

WHERE ARE YOU!

BEN IS GOO!

HE WONT TAKE YOU ROOHOOHOO!

Can you see him, sing a song, take him when you go along!

BEN!

Just a dirty whore.

'I'm just a dirty whore,' I thought to myself as I clicked about on the internet. I've done some terrible things in the past but this really takes the cake. This really takes the cake and mushes it all over my chest, and rubs the icing into my chest hairs, takes a fist full of delicious, carrot cake and smears it across my ugly disgraced face. It was as if I had just become married, the whore-wife to some groom who has not yet taken a physical form in this metaphor which so easily turned against me and made my meager attempts at being a clever writer look like the uncontrollable train of crazed thoughts that belong in the ripped and shit-covered journal of some mental patient from that movie Gothika.

I had committed one of blogging's worst crimes imaginable, I had considered, nay, desired, a change of blog hosting websites.

Blogspot knows this, as I type, Blogspot uses its 'Save Now' function to regularly keep track of where I'm up to in case my browser crashes (Google Chrome wouldn't) so that I don't lose my work (it wouldn't matter). Blogspot looks at me, stares at me through that strangely shaped B in the top left corner, like the misshapen eye of some child that I have betrayed. Stares at me, and cries.

Boy-o, what about that Wordpress website 'though?! Looks pretty sleek, you gotta admit.

What's this?! A serious blog?!!

Hello all,

this is potentially the first (I don't remember) and probably the last (who can say, I'm not great at sticking to promises I make myself) serious blog that I will ever do.

And in saying that, the only thing serious about it is that the words that will follow are all true.

This music video, by We Are Scientists comes as breath of fresh air for me, swimming around in a sea of uncertainty about who I am and who I want to be when I am older, a breath of fresh oxygen which will keep me alive while I am underwater in this sea of tempestuous waters which I shall, for the sake of this post, call Growing Up.

The song, 'Rules Don't Stop Me' initially presents itself as a lame, outdated stab at authority figures, the theme of the song is basically what would happen if Bart Simpson never really grew up, but moved to New York with his heart set on proving to the world that he truly was a rebel.

However, the video itself is so 'sillie' that I felt the immeasurable urge to spend the rest of my life trying to embody exactly what goes on in these 2 minutes and 16 seconds. They jump around, they get someone's dad involved in the video, they have their heads turn into giant cubes, they cuddle, they fight, it's madness. And it just reminds me that that's all I really want to be, a sillie do0d with the mental capacity to be serious when he needs to and to entertain others.

Fuck you adulthood, fuck you adulthoof, fuck you hipsterdom, I'm getting a tattoo of a sharkboy with a speech bubble that says 'Stay Fun Eddie!' cause THATs how you spell my name, and THATs what I want.

cha cha cha

Merton Mertle the Purple Turtle

A few things have occurred to me today, one of was a piece of wisdom handed down to me by this guy who was wearing a nice blazer that i looked at one day, and then i saw it on today and thought, 'boy-o, shoulda got that there blazer' but then i sort of passed the thought off, but now, as I write this, the thought has come back stronger than ever, like a bout of foodsickness, coming back for another round.

but that wasn't one of the things. One of the things was that Marley has my wallet, which is just the greatest news! I thought I had lost it forever! She's a real doll, and what a figure! Ooh that figure (/@Marley Merton, Barely Legal)

The other thing is that we need to take control of our own destiny, and that includes eating eggs when you want, saying no (NO!) to things like: gardening, getting hot and steamy, eating McDs for dinner, going to parties, not going to parties, and signing up for life insurance.

that's the other thing, i went to change my kiwisaver provider, and the lady is like 'uhhhh great, do you want to see the...' and im like 'NO!' and then she said, 'do you want to look at house and contents cover?' and I said 'NO! my parents do that FOR ME!' but i dont know if they do. Then she said, 'do you have life insurance?' and i laughed a little bit, but on the inside, but then i said 'NO! My PARENTS do it for me!' and she was sort of like, 'ohhh i dont think anyone but you can...' and I cut her off, being all 'I'LL TALK TO THEM WHEN I GET HOME' and then I left, but I forgot to take the ASB ballpoint pen, which was my plan all along.

PS i think the purple turtle at the top of the page is smokin' reefer, what a little rascal